I lost a good friend last week. A lady I had worked with for almost twenty years. Her funeral was last Saturday.
Originally, I had not planned on going due to my issues with bowel and bladder control.
I almost never leave my home for more than a half hour unless my bowel is empty because if it is not, I am prone to accidents, both urinary and bowel. At this stage in my recovery, I don't mind too much peeing in my pants, but I really try to avoid pooping in my pants.
The funeral was scheduled to strat at 9 A.M., and though I usually have a bowel movement each day, it is around mid-morning. The thing is, even though I know stool is ready to come out, I can't force it, and have to wait until the body is ready to expel it. So, the consequence is that if I am not near a bathroom during this window of time, I am prone to leak, and sometimes have major accidents. Similarly, if the stool is ready to come out and I'm not less than two minutes away from a toilet, it would be even more of an embarrassment.
I would have to leave by 6 A.M. to make to the service on time. I told myself that I would have to wake up , have a bowel movement and get dressed by 5:45 A.M. for me to consider going.
As it turned out, I woke up at 4:30 A.M., had a bowel movement at 5:00 A.M., and was dressed by 5:30. But I still considered not going because even though I had a bowel movement, it wasn't complete, and I knew I'd have another one by noontime.
I sarcastically had my friend telling me, "Steve, I woke you up early, got you your bowel movement. Now, come over to say Good-bye to me."
But my friend would never say that. She would say, "Steve, I got you to wake up early, got you to have a bowel movement. I would like for you to come and say Good-bye, but if you don't feel up to it, that's okay. I understand."
I decided to go, and decided that I would worry about my bowel movements on my way home, if it came to that. As it turned out, two other friends who attended the funeral gave me a ride home.
I'd like to think my friend made it as easy it could be for me to attend. A form of spiritual intervention.
I'm glad I went.
She had a reassuring smile and hands down, was one of the kindest people I have ever known. I am going to miss my friend, RA.
